Skip to main content

Allana Pratt, Intimacy Expert - My boyfriend’s messaging strange women


Question: Do you have any idea why a man would start instant messaging strange woman after being in a five year relationship. Said he was “stupid” and wasn’t physical with anybody. I guess you can say I have trust issues.

Answers: Ouch! I am so sorry. Do I have any idea why? Here is what I have learned, first off I am really sorry because that really hurts. If you have trust issues especially, that would hurt and sting even more. So first something about trust and then something about men.

Trust: When we trust, it’s not that we trust someone to be perfect. That sets us up for failure because no one is perfect and you can’t control anybody. That is insanity if we try to control another and put all of our power – making sure they be a certain way to so that we are safe. Instead, find that safety and trust inside you. That safety being that capacity to discern and know that come what may, you’ve got your own back – you can take care of yourself. It takes a lot of pressure off of others, to have to be a certain way, which actually – when it is a kind good person, makes them want to step up and be even better for you and you feel more at peace and home every day. So that’s the trust issue. The how? I have all the books, cds, dvds, and coaching for you – that’s the how. But the what – that is the trust issue.

Now the idea of him texting strange women, what I have learned about coaching a lot men over at least the past five or six years, intensely through private sessions and intensives, and really getting to be that safe place for them, to tell the truth and not be judged and to be loved unconditionally, what I have discovered is that men love women. Men love variety. Men love beauty. Men love all the different flavors of the feminine. Not that you have done anything wrong, but maybe there is the next flavor of your feminine to evolve. Sometimes we get into our groove, maybe there are two or three flavors of the feminine that we are comfortable with – maybe we can say one is the mother or the kind caring tender part of us. Maybe another is the naughty erotic provocateur. Maybe another is like the queen, the self-respect, the confident, has the capacity to run a household, or a business. Maybe you haven’t explored your dork, maybe you haven’t explored your vulnerable, soft side. Maybe there is a part of you, that if you were to do research and discover who these other women were, maybe they all have something in common, a flavor of the feminine that’s in you, you just haven’t let her emerge yet.

So as hard as this is, at first – get really super mad – hit a pillow, play some heavy metal music – get it out of your body. Get pissed. When it is out of your body, drop in and say “Thank you sisters, because you are pointing me in the direction of the next part of me that is ready to emerge.” And see what it is and let her emerge through dance, through coaching sessions, through just a simple awareness and conscious decision to dress like her or learn about that type of woman or watch women who are like that and be like them. There is a lot of ways you can allow, create the condition for this part of you to emerge. I have a sneaky suspicion that after five years, that is probably what is going on, no condoning his behavior whatsoever, but if he didn’t know any better and you didn’t know any better – then no harm, no foul – now you know. Now you can make another choice. What it will do for him is that he won’t know who showed up to the dinner table or to the bedroom or on a dinner out because you are going to be embodying this other flavor of the feminine and it is going to turn him on, keep his attention. While for you, it feels fuller, more empowering more alive, to play and discover all of your grandeur.

Radiance_3D1

What I would like to recommend is that you go through my Radiance Curriculum for woman, it’s a dvd. You can also upgrade to two private sessions at a discount, which I do recommend, because it was actually a webinar originally – designed for two private sessions with the six weeks of curriculum. It is 9 hours of curriculum, interviews, and dance practices with some tender love and care from me to go all the way to the core and heal whatever is in the way. You will allow the fullness of you to emerge. I bet you his behavior will change. Making him wrong for it, as validated as you are, is not going to make him change. Inviting him to an even richer relationship, will. That is my recommendation.

I love you to pieces and thank you for your question.

Allana

The post My boyfriend’s messaging strange women appeared first on Allana Pratt.



via Allana Pratt http://ift.tt/1FKbY74
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

lynda - Jane Wurwand, Founder of Dermalogica, this week on Glambition Radio

Jane Wurwand is not only the founder of the #1 brand of skin care in the world, but she’s also changing women’s lives on a global level . I’m thrilled to have her as my guest on today’s episode of Glambition Radio . Jane (originally from the UK) and her husband launched their business back in 1983 in Marina del Rey, CA with $14,000, no bank loans and no investors. Today, Dermalogica boasts sales of more than $250,000 million a year and is sold in 86 countries around the world! It’s a true rags-to-riches story, and she tells all in our interview . What many people may not know about Jane is that she is also fighting to empower women all over the world. She founded FITE , Financial Independence Through Entrepreneurship, which invests in local grassroots initiatives to help women and girls become leaders . To date, her FITE program has helped fund more than 40,000 loans for women to start or grow businesses in over 65 countries! (Visit JoinFITE.org to see how you can get involved.) O
Post a Comment
Read more

SMART Goals 101: Goal Setting Examples, Templates, and Tips - Brian Tracy

I think you’ll agree with me when I say: We’ve all heard that SMART goals are important . But a lot of people are left with questions about them, for example: What exactly are they? How do we use them correctly? Are they really contributing to your success? Here’s the deal: When it comes to achieving success, one of the most important steps that you can take is setting good goals. It is also important to recognize, though, that not all goals are created equal. In this article, we’ll take a look at a special class of goals called SMART goals and how you can use them to heighten your chances of success. FREE SUCCESS TOOL: Brian Tracy’s 14-Step-Goal-Setting Guide What is a Goal? A goal can be any objective that you set for yourself and push yourself to achieve. Sometimes that goal may be small (like waking up an hour earlier than you normally do) and sometimes it may be larger (like earning a promotion). But here’s the kicker: While having goals of all kinds is almost
Post a Comment
Read more

bosanchez - The Bias of Fathers

One day, I was at a Christmas party. And parents were forcing their small kids to sing, bribing them with lollipops to banana splits to doll houses to Boracay vacations. One father — a friend of mine whose name I won’t divulge as it would be hazardous to my health — brought his little five-year-old daughter to the front. Because he even had a Minus One prepared, we thought, “She must really be a good singer.” So everyone clapped their hands and cheered as the music started. Then the five-year-old began to sing. Or at least made some kind of sharp noise.  But she didn’t get one key right. The cute little girl was absolutely tone deaf. From beginning to end, she sounded so awful, the experience was similar to having an endoscopy without the anesthesia. But the father was right beside me, still taking photos, still smiling from ear to ear, his eyes glued to his little daughter. He looked at me and smiled, “She may not sound right, but can you see how lovely she sways her hips?” Th
Post a Comment
Read more