I highly doubt any of us have gotten away with NEVER being rejected, put down or looked at weird for asking for what we want in bed. In fact a man literally ran OUT of my HOUSE once! (No I’m not going to tell you why… at least not yet…)
In fact all you have to do to discover your flavor of sexuality is too much or not enough is read the cover of Cosmo. I think I’m pretty good at felacio having hosted all those Sinclair Education Institute Videos… and yet I don’t know 17 ways to please him orally before noon!
So bottom line is we’ve all been judged for our sexuality. And we made one of two choices… decided Wow, curious point of view… and moved on like water rolling off a ducks back, asking What’s it going to take for me to be with someone who shares my sexual nature and is open to discovering and enjoying more?
…or we make the choice to judge ourselves as perverted or prissy, hide in shame, blame the other, make ourselves wrong, experience sexual dysfunction, even contract diseases in confirmation of our shame and guilt.
Or we just have a headache.
So step 1 is always, with kindness, tenderness and care, honor the part inside who’s been judged. Next destroy and uncreate the judgement glommed upon you by others AND yourself. Then it’s time to really BE you, HONOR you, EXPRESS you and LIVE you! In bed!
I like to ‘sandwich’ requests… a juicy piece of focaccia would be “I adore when you touch me”… the meaty Sicilian salami sausage would be “and it would drive me wiiiiiiiild if you would touch me half as fast, super slow… it makes me so wet”… and then the 2nd savory lick your lips piece of focaccia would be “how did I get so lucky to have such a sexy amazing partner as you?”
Done.
Repeat.
Take it up a notch with asking questions as you drive to an event, have dinner, go for a walk… Tell me something about you and oral sex. Or tell me what really turns you on about sex? You can ask ANYTHING that opens doors, brings you closer, allows you to get more intimate, vulnerable, open, connected and enjoying the REAL YOU with your partner.
Be sure to have pleasure be a part of your daily routine, not just in the bedroom, but all day, to support foreplay, conversation, touch, praise, sensual appreciation… pleasure begets pleasure! When you BE Sensuality and Sex Appeal Itself… and watch how this helps everything slide into place with ease…
And if you need some help with the honoring of you, healing of your emasculated or betrayed heart, destroying the limiting beliefs, knowing your truth, speaking your truth or navigating the expansion of your sexual relationship… I am here, a catalyst for miracles in your world, bringing you home to YOU.
Pleasure Practices for MEN
Pleasure Practices for Women
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