Skip to main content

Allana Pratt, Intimacy Expert - The Affair…What Happens After the Truth Comes Out?

download (6)

I have coached men and women for 17 yrs. And yet I don’t coach friends ever. Unsolicited advice just doesn’t work. Yet when a close friend revealed that every time she tried to talk to her husband about his affair, they got into a huge fight. So I encouraged her to write him a poem…

What she wrote took my breath away. It’s filled with a lot of anger. I’d say it’s even bordering on emasculation, which I’m totally against. And yet here’s the wild thing.

It worked.

He had cheated on her. Kept it secret for a year. Denied it until she proved it. He cried when he read it. He heard. I think the barriers between them were so thick that this was needed to begin again.

Violated

Pummeled.

Trust violated.

Kicked in the gut, life yanked out of me.

Can’t breathe, I’m in the underworld, I inhale fire.

Lies dissolving my heart like acid on flesh.

 

Trust is gone, I’ve been dropped… falling… falling…

YOU, my hero, have violated our sacred bond of trust… I feel discarded, like garbage, into the realm of the valueless, has-beens, used, useless….

My spirit dulled from color to black and white, my future from a bright pathway of sunshine and possibilities… to a horrid massive creaking metal door slamming shut my dreams with you.

I trusted you to be a good man, honest and forthright.

I trusted you that even if you were scared, uncomfortable or uncertain, you’d sit in the fire, handle your shit and come to me.

I trusted you to speak up, ask for what you wanted, co create a life that worked for us.

I f’ing bragged about you! How humiliating…

Livid, disgusted, horrified… and now disheartened that you are not as strong as I thought you were, not as bold, courageous, kind or caring as I thought you were… like finding out OZ from behind the curtain, or seeing a noble fireman rescue a cat from a tree, only to see him kick a dog to the curb as he leaves…

You were my whole life, we were a team.

You buoyed me up, the banks of my river, the pole to my flag, the arms around me so I would never fall, the belief that come what may, you’d be there… and you’ve lied, broken trust and even cheated… you have let me down, my heart, my soul. How could you?

How could I be so stupid to live in hope and fantasy and not see the reality of you? Perhaps I loved your potential, who you could be, but who you aren’t. Perhaps I lived in avoidance and unwillingness to trust my instincts.

What’s miraculous is that through all this pain, I’ve cried and fumed, yet deepened my Self Love,  forgiven myself where I was in denial and strengthened my trust in my feminine intuition.

Can I ever trust you again? I don’t know. I have forgiven, yet I have not forgotten.

You haven’t stepped up.

Breaking trust is unacceptable.

Saying sorry isn’t enough.

Making it better through your own development as a man is the only possibility.

Making it better by me learning how I was a part of creating this, too.

I release all judgment, I let the past go.

I bask in the pure awareness of what I’m worth and what’s possible.

I welcome the growth required for us to begin again.

The choice is yours.

The post The Affair…What Happens After the Truth Comes Out? appeared first on Allana Pratt.



via Allana Pratt https://ift.tt/2QxIqCf
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How to Set Priorities Using the ABCDE Method - Brian Tracy

The more thought you invest into setting priorities before you begin a task, the faster you will get the important things done. The more important and valuable the task is to you, the more motivated you are to overcome procrastination and launch yourself into the job. William Matthews said,  “The first law of success is concentration – to bend all the energies to one point, and to go directly to that point, looking neither to the right or to the left.” Today, I want to share a method of time-management for setting priorities that I’ve been using for years, called the ABCDE method. FREE TIME MANAGEMENT TOOL: Download the ABCDE Checklist PDF The ABCDE Method The ABCDE Method is a powerful priority setting technique that you can use every single day. This technique is so simple and effective that it can make you one of the most efficient and effective people in your field. The ABCDE list is a to-do list on steroids when it comes to learning how to prioritize . The power of t...
Post a Comment
Read more

Allana Pratt, Intimacy Expert - My boyfriend’s messaging strange women

Question: Do you have any idea why a man would start instant messaging strange woman after being in a five year relationship. Said he was “stupid” and wasn’t physical with anybody. I guess you can say I have trust issues. Answers: Ouch! I am so sorry. Do I have any idea why? Here is what I have learned, first off I am really sorry because that really hurts. If you have trust issues especially, that would hurt and sting even more. So first something about trust and then something about men. Trust: When we trust, it’s not that we trust someone to be perfect. That sets us up for failure because no one is perfect and you can’t control anybody. That is insanity if we try to control another and put all of our power – making sure they be a certain way to so that we are safe. Instead, find that safety and trust inside you. That safety being that capacity to discern and know that come what may, you’ve got your own back – you can take care of yourself. It takes a lot of pressure off of other...
Post a Comment
Read more

lynda - Jane Wurwand, Founder of Dermalogica, this week on Glambition Radio

Jane Wurwand is not only the founder of the #1 brand of skin care in the world, but she’s also changing women’s lives on a global level . I’m thrilled to have her as my guest on today’s episode of Glambition Radio . Jane (originally from the UK) and her husband launched their business back in 1983 in Marina del Rey, CA with $14,000, no bank loans and no investors. Today, Dermalogica boasts sales of more than $250,000 million a year and is sold in 86 countries around the world! It’s a true rags-to-riches story, and she tells all in our interview . What many people may not know about Jane is that she is also fighting to empower women all over the world. She founded FITE , Financial Independence Through Entrepreneurship, which invests in local grassroots initiatives to help women and girls become leaders . To date, her FITE program has helped fund more than 40,000 loans for women to start or grow businesses in over 65 countries! (Visit JoinFITE.org to see how you can get involved.) O...
Post a Comment
Read more