It seems a cruel joke of nature to have men’s sexual desire peak before a woman’s sexual desire peaks. And yet most men that come to me as clients that have issues with erections or desire, we can link it to stress at work, self-judgment about their sexual capacity or years of emasculation or abuse about their erotic desires.
I shared about this on a Telesummit I gave for men, for my Having it All Group Coaching Series… I often talk to men’s bodies and get farther than trying to reason out the why from the intellect. The reason is that you are bright, my clients are bright, and if they could have figured things out in their mind, they would have.
This is more energetic, a limiting belief they aren’t even aware of… and yet their bodies are. I have talked to men’s hearts, their balls… seriously! If a man will let go of how odd that might initially be… it’s incredible that for example; a black cloud of smoke in their pelvic region has a lot of profound insights to share about WHY his libido is blocked.
Clearly if he’s been judged for his kinky fantasies, or made wrong for his sex drive, or cheated on or told he wasn’t bold, dark or bad boy enough… that judgment blocks his sexual energy. We heal that, shift the energy and get him back on track.
Another area that I expected was when he judged himself for not being able to get or hold an erection. While I clear away judgment to get the energy flowing again, and tell him that women appreciate FAR more than just a hard penis when making love… I also turn them onto to various DVDs I’ve hosted for The Sinclair Institute that talk about several other delicious sexual ways to enjoy each other’s bodies and stay present instead of spinning in their minds.
One curious place I was unaware blocked a man’s sexual desire is this whole ‘purpose thing. While I’ve always thought of purpose for men as more as an essence they be whether at work, with kids, in the bedroom or even in their own company alone. The main reason they choose to be alive and show up in the world- for joy, for consciousness, for the earth, for family, for health… etc. Yet when I worked with Dr. Dain of Access Consciousness and we created the Your Delicious Body DVD, I learned that purpose actually stops expansion, puts you in constant judgment of yourself unless you are perfect every moment… doesn’t inspire you to keep showing up with lightness of what’s possible, but instead the heaviness of being a failure before you even begin.
SOOO of course this would dampen your libido. Why try if you’ve already failed… and can you see how that would make you even more timid in the bedroom, more susceptible to a woman’s judgments, and keep a wounded heart broken?
So why don’t we flush down the toilet all the judgments of you from others, judgments of you from YOU, all the purposes you have and instead focus on your main delicious priority in life, boldly be yourself, be tender and kind with your journey and ask what would it take for me to really enjoy my sexual nature? Pleasure, sensuality, copulation… it’s your birthright to enjoy your amazing body, to savor touch, to be your phenomenal self. I’m here to remind you, facilitate any change required and celebrate our cute ass every step of the way!
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