Skip to main content

Allana Pratt, Intimacy Expert - Can This Marriage Be Saved?

wedding-night-1116722_960_720

I’ll call them Sandy and Joe. Joe couldn’t slow down enough to be truly present and intimate with Sandy. Sandy’s frustrations about this made her feel lonely within the marriage and her dissatisfaction pushed Joe further away. Joe’s heart was so emasculated from his past marriage that if she was upset, he couldn’t really hear her without tuning out in fear. Sandy was angry that she left her job to be at home to be with Joe more, yet she felt ignored or abandoned by his lack of intimate connection.

I took them through an exercise to witness one another’s frustrations taken out physically with a plastic baseball bat against the ground… cuing them to the core of what was missing… both yearned for deeper connection and safety to be themselves.

I then took them through communication exercises to hear one another without fixing, judging, agreeing or disagreeing, no blaming or accusing… just authentic sharing… and listening with total allowance… breathing through whatever was being triggered… simply saying “Thank you” each time one another finished sharing.

Given each was being heard impeccably, Sandy didn’t get so frustrated and went right to the core of her loneliness… making Joe want to comfort her, not escape. Joe was able to express his fears making Sandy want to be tender and safer for Joe to be around. They dropped their shield and swords and were vulnerable, intimate and connected. They wanted to care for one another into healing and both felt empowered to take responsibility for their own needs and evolve.

At the end I blindfolded both of them and gave them strawberries to feed one another… to touch one another slowly, to sensually explore each other’s faces, fingers. They laughed and moaned and cried. They really loved one another… and grew stronger having sat ‘in the fire’.

The post Can This Marriage Be Saved? appeared first on Allana Pratt.



via Allana Pratt http://ift.tt/1SFrKFC
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

bosanchez -

  Seeing Only Red in a Sea of Blue   In my talks, I often play this game with the audience. I ask them to look around the room and count how many red shirts there are. After half-a-minute, I tell them to close their eyes. I ask them, “Are you ready with your answer?” They all reply with a resounding yes. Then I ask them, “Okay. How many blue shirts did you see?” They burst out laughing. And they try to guess. But no one gets the right answer. Why? Because they weren’t focused on the blue shirts but on the red. The point of this little exercise is to show them that every reality, every situation, every circumstance always has many sides. But we only see one side! Always.   You’re Not a Grasshopper   Let me tell you one of my all-time favorite stories in the Bible. The Israelites who escaped Egypt (think “Ten Commandments” with Charlton Heston) were now at the edge of the Promised Land. Not knowing what it was like, they sent 12 spies to scout the land i...
Post a Comment
Read more

Allana Pratt, Intimacy Expert - My boyfriend’s messaging strange women

Question: Do you have any idea why a man would start instant messaging strange woman after being in a five year relationship. Said he was “stupid” and wasn’t physical with anybody. I guess you can say I have trust issues. Answers: Ouch! I am so sorry. Do I have any idea why? Here is what I have learned, first off I am really sorry because that really hurts. If you have trust issues especially, that would hurt and sting even more. So first something about trust and then something about men. Trust: When we trust, it’s not that we trust someone to be perfect. That sets us up for failure because no one is perfect and you can’t control anybody. That is insanity if we try to control another and put all of our power – making sure they be a certain way to so that we are safe. Instead, find that safety and trust inside you. That safety being that capacity to discern and know that come what may, you’ve got your own back – you can take care of yourself. It takes a lot of pressure off of other...
Post a Comment
Read more

Allana Pratt, Intimacy Expert - To MILF or not to MILF this Mothers Day

I don’t know if you have those to-do piles that just sit there, you WANT to get to them, you MEAN to get to them, and you OUGHT to get to them… while this video was in one of those piles. It took less than 10 minutes to do. Why did I put it off? Well if you’re like me, we only procrastinate with things we either don’t really want to do, or doing them will make us have to face something we’re not ready to face, internally or externally. We’re literally choosing not to face it and calling it procrastination. So I guess I didn’t want to face/own being a MILF. Really owning my badass queen Harley boots, pole dancing, MILF essence. I don’t even know what I’ve really made it all mean… just that I’m WAY more potent than I realize and my erotic creature is WAY overdue coming out to play, to create adventures, to embrace life and to shine!! So you know I call my women’s membership Redefining Sexuality , because I sure don’t care for the definition of sex or sexy… it’s void of honor, care and ...
Post a Comment
Read more