Question: Hi Allana! I am 57 years old and will be retiring in about 3 years. My friend wants me to come live with him once I retire. We have been together for the last 5 years and have talked about marriage. My daughter thinks it is a bad idea to just move in with him after being apart for so long. What do you think??
Answer: Congratulations for almost retiring and also congratulations for being together with someone for the past five years… And that it’s going so well that you talked about marriage
I also love that your daughter is doing her best to protect you and wanting you to be honored.
Whenever something big happens like moving in together, I think it’s a grand idea to get very clear in your communications and your expectations before you take the next step.
By this what I mean is talk about your desires and requirements to moving in. Ask what his desires are and his requirements are…
Talk about money, talk about sex and exclusivity, talk about marriage.
Talk about why is it a contribution to both of you for you to move in?
Talk about what each of you need in order for this relationship to enhance both of your lives.
***Don’t leave anything to assumptions or anything to hope or chance!!!!!
What do you really really require in order to feel fabulous moving in?
What are you scared to ask for, nervous to be rejected about, unsure if you’re worthy of?
Get super duper clear on all of these, then ask for them, and see if indeed moving in will feel fabulous down to the tips of your toes and bottom of your soul
You may or may not want to combine your money, you may want to talk about how much together time and alone time you desire. You may talk about health directives… the intense stuff.
You most certainly have a lot of life to live and the more confident yet unattached you are requesting what you desire, will support you in creating the greatest space for him to step forward and make you happy. Set him up to win with great clarity and letting him know how thrilled these various aspects would make you. Be sure that what he desires works from you and is easy for you to provide and is a natural joyful expression of who you already are.
I remember one partner who was really attached to me providing food for him. I’m not a good cook, it’s just not the skill of mine. And for various other reasons that relationship didn’t pan out. Now I find it quite hysterical that the universe has brought me a chef as a boyfriend! That’s a much better balance of talents!
Bottom line you’re not living for your daughter’s approval, and you’re not living for your boyfriend’s approval… You’re living for your own joy and full self-expression. So be courageous and surrendered in your communications before you move in so that you move in with deep commitment, certainty and openness to the greatest possibilities unfolding imaginable
If you need some support in getting clear on all these topics or if you need some support in having this beautiful conversation with your boyfriend, that’s what I’m here for. Apply for a complimentary strategy session to see if you were a fit to be invited to work with me at http://ift.tt/21Q9ufU
The stronger the foundation, the stronger the house.
The deeper the roots, the higher the shoots.
Tiny strong hinges swing big huge doors…
Be willing to do the deep work now to set yourself up for a life of thriving
All my love,
Allana
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